


You Don't Really Hate Me, Do You?

by Miss_Neer



Category: Tokyo Ghoul, tokyo ghoul :re
Genre: Character Death, Fights, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-18 13:14:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11291418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Neer/pseuds/Miss_Neer
Summary: Urie is no longer the squad leader, but instead replaced by his best friend. How will he react?





	You Don't Really Hate Me, Do You?

"Rank 3 Ginshi Shirazu is the new squad leader!"

Those words hit them both like a speeding train, running over them and squeezing their bodies until they couldn't breathe. They were both suffocating. They exchanged looks, worried wide eyes met cold glaring ones. The suspense was thick you could cut it with a knife, but only they felt it. They said nothing, did nothing. That is, until Shirazu spoke, as if to ease the atmosphere:

"Wait." he looked over at Sasaki, eyes wide with confusion "Huh? Me?"

He felt Urie glaring daggers at him, he felt it so hard that he could almost feel the daggers piercing through his skin, stabbing him deeply, the sharp ends sweetly gashing his soft heart. He felt the poisonous hate fill his veins, ready to take his life at any given moment. 

For Urie, he'd complain until his lungs give out "Wait a sec Sassan! Isn't this a smart person's job?!"

By smart he meant Urie, of course he meant Urie, Urie should be the squad leader. Even if Shirazu was replacing Urie, he would rather tear logic apart just so Urie could replace Urie. Shirazu didn't want to be the leader, he knew nothing about it! He would rather follow Urie's commands, like a dog, following him to the depths of hell, all for Urie's sake. All for Urie's promotion. He would rather continue teasing him, saying "Hanchou, that credit is all mine!" even if he couldn't care less who the credit goes to. No, he could care less. He wanted the credit to go to Urie, only to Urie. 

"I think the person who acts in the best interests of the team should take the role of squad leader." Sasaki said, his words hitting them, as if they were being stoned to death "I want to try entrusting you with that role."

Shirazu could feel it, the darkness behind him, slowly wrapping around his neck, embracing his body, as its dark fingers squeezed against his neck, choking him, killing him. I'd let you kill me, if it meant you're happy. He took in a deep breath, trying to force the darkness from him, pleading for Urie's eyes to stop glaring, his muscles to relax. He could feel his tense muscles, like each time he touched them while they lay in bed, but this time, they weren't tense because of the weird pleasure nor need, no, they were tense out of pure anger and hate, hate towards Shirazu. Hate and jealousy. Shirazu could feel the heavy breaths erupting from Urie's throat, tickling his neck, even if they stood apart, Urie way behind him.

Ginshi lowered his head. He could picture Urie right now, head hung low, eyes glaring at the back of Shirazu's head; his cheek carrying a heavy bruise, his stomach aching from the earlier kick. He imagined the pain Urie felt, he knew that the CCG, promotion, all of it, it meant everything to Urie. To Shirazu it was just quick money, but to Urie is was his whole life. If Urie were to slip up and fall, like he did today, everyone would look at him as the investigator who got degraded. Who got replaced. Everyone would lose respect for him. For that little boy who came in the CCG the moment he was allowed to, for that boy who spent years with his nose buried deep in books, studying like a bookworm. He studied to pass all tests, and worked to pass all trainings. He worked hard, unlike Shirazu. Shirazu was just in it for the money, he maybe picked a book up twice, and his kagune handling abilities came almost naturally. Saiko never even showed up to class and Tooru did study, but he was never able to pass training. 

This was everything to Urie, and Shirazu was taking it all away from him.

But would Urie hate him?

Shirazu waited. And waited. Seconds turned into minutes which turned into hours. It felt like forever. The sky was dark, darker than Urie's violet hair, the stars were hiding behind the dark clouds. Urie was a star, too, he was hiding, too, but Shirazu didn't know which cloud he should look behind. He let out a loud sigh as he brough his body into a sitting position. Urie wasn't coming, was he? What a fool Shirazu was! To think Urie would run to him even after he kicked his world down into pieces. And like legos, Shirazu was hurting from stepping onto them. Urie wasn't coming.

The ginger threw his legs to the side of the bed, standing up and walking to Mutsuki's room, gently knocking on his door. He didn't want to wake Sasaki up, he was a light sleeper, one wrong move and he's up. Then he'll start questioning Urie's location, to which Shirazu had to answers. Thankfully, Mutsuki opened the door slowly, also fearing Sasaki. They looked at each other and instantly knew what was wrong.

"Uriko!"

Stepping into a small bar, Shirazu instantly noticed Urie. He bought a can of sweet red-bean soup for himself but once he saw Urie, he tossed it into his face. Urie caught it, however said nothing. Shirazu walked closer to him 

"Yo." he called out - still no answer "Tooru nagged me to come 'ere!" 

He lied, he was the one who begged Tooru to help him find Urie, his precious Kuki, but Mutsuki didn't seem to fight against Shirazu's words. He knew, too, that this was an awkward moment for the two.

Shirazu cleared his throat with a gross cough before yelling: "I'm sorry for kicking ya!" he crossed his arms, he couldn't seem weak on the very first day of being leader "But ya were wrong!!"

Quick save. That's all it was. Urie was never wrong, Urie was so right. Shirazu stood in front of Urie, the boy finally moved his body to get a close look at Shirazu, who, in his eyes, was full of himself. He took a look at what Shirazu had thrown at him, before me sighed and Shirazu could finally hear his calm, gentle, voice.

"Shirazu." he called out so sweetly, the ginger could barely hold back, holding back his arms from embracing the smaller male, his lips from connecting to his... "Is this harassment?"

Shirazu jumped by the sudden question, before placing his hands on his hips "Yeah." he confirmed "You hate sweet stuff, right?" he looked down at the seated male "Drink it."

"Shirazu..." Mutsuki tried reasoning with him, but he couldn't, all Shirazu saw was Urie.

Shirazu gave Mutsuki a look that told him one thing only: leave. Mutsuki understood and soon, he was gone like the wind, as if he was never there. Shirazu sighed and looked back at Urie, his Urie, and sat next to him. Urie wouldn't look at him, again, but Shirazu stared at him like a poor man at the sight of gold. Who was he kidding, Urie was better than gold. His face was pale, was it paler than before?, his lips dry and connected into a thin line, but oh could those lips pucker up good, his eyes were tired, they always were, dark circles decorating below his eyes, with two moles proudly placed under his left eye. Urie was ashamed of those, Shirazu knew this, because one night, when they were both exhausted, cuddled up in each other's arms, Urie admitted that he hated his moles, that he used to be made fun of at grade school because of them. To that, Shirazu replied by placing two gentle kisses on both his moles, leaving Urie confused.

"Yer moles are beautiful, y'kow?" he then pulled Urie closer, offering him a warm smile, exposing his sharp teeth that were only moments ago sunk deep into Kuki's flesh "Yer dad had them, right? Ya should be proud."

And ever since that night, Urie was proud of each and every mole, scar, mark, every imperfection on his body. And right now was no different. Shirazu had been staring at Urie for a while, but the investigator didn't even bother to register his presence. Or did he just not want Shirazu to be there?

Shirazu couldn't take it anymore, he hated being ignored by Urie, he hated it when the male didn't return his gaze, and like every other night, he would force Urie to look at him, even if it meant bruising his perfect body.

Shirazu moved in gently at first, placing his hand to Urie's left cheek, slowly moving his head to look at him, and for some reason, Urie didn't struggle against it. The ginger used his thumb to gently rub the moles under Urie's eye, forcing the other to squint his left eye, instinctive, in fear that it would be poked out. They stared at each other for a silent while, none of them daring to say a word, afraid that the other would get frightened and run away like a fragile little animal. 

Which they were. Animals.

Shirazu was the one to break the ice "So... Erm... Why didn't ya come to my room tonight?" he asked in a quiet tone, keeping their little late night meetings a secret

Urie shrugged his shoulders lightly, looking up at the other "Am I not allowed to skip out one night? Or am I a rabbit, who will hump whatever it sees, whenever it gets a chance?"

Shirazu was taken back by his words, did Urie think that Shirazu was all for... No, it can't be, Urie knew how much Shirazu cared for him, how much he loved him. Urie was just saying that to sound smart, like he always does.

"Besides, what's it to you, Rank 3 investigator Ginshi Shirazu?" Urie said and Shirazu froze at those words, a sudden cold filling the air as his body felt like it was being buried in snow, the sudden formality scarring his heart "Urie... Don't tell me yer still angry about the squad leader thing! Ya know I can't help it!"

Urie just shook his head at that, pulling away from Shirazu's gentle grip and looking away, leaving Shirazu to stare at his undercut "You must be so happy. Being promoted." he stated, in a voice barely over a whisper as he glared over at Shirazu "Even though we acted as a couple, you got rewarded for following me around! What kind of bullshit is that?!"

Shirazu sighed. It was all true. He did as Urie told him to do, they acted as a team, they deserved the same penalty. They made the same mistakes. So why, oh why, was Shirazu promoted and Kuki degraded? He was sure that Tooru would be the new squad leader, Tooru was the only one who listened to Haise like a puppy and never goes against him. Why was it Shirazu?

You know exactly why, Shirazu told himself, it's because that kinky haired bastard wants to turn you and Kuki against each other. Right? That's his prime goal, of course it would be. Kuki and you are always out and about, going against the squad, going against Sasaki, he had to put a stop to it. And if you two weren't on good terms anymore, neither of you would go around, causing chaos to Sasaki anymore. That was a perfect plan. That sneaky devil... But no way, no way in hell, will you give into his plan. You and Kuki need to stay in good relationships, now stronger than never, and prove to Sasaki that no matter what that bastard does, you won't fall apart.

And that's exactly what Shirazu did. Without a second though, he grabbed Urie by his shoulders, turning him forcefully towards himself, earning an irritated growl from Urie, before leaning in and connecting their lips together in a rough kiss. Urie stayed frozen for a moment before giving in, his eyes soon closing with the last he saw being Shirazu's closed eyes, furrowed eyebrows, only millimeters away from his own. Shirazu took note of Urie's response kiss, his hands leaving the other's shoulders and instead wrapping around his slender waist. He felt Kuki's hands digging into his hair like into a forest, as his gloved fingers tugged on every strand of hair on Ginshi's head, twirling them around his index finger. Like his hair, Urie had Shirazu as a whole wrapped around his little finger. He always had. Shirazu didn't mind. Instead, he wrapped himself closer around his finger each day, even if Kuki wanted to let go, Ginshi wouldn't leave.

After a moment a pure bliss, Urie was the first to pull away, like every time, but instead of pushing Shirazu away, he looked up into his eyes, tiny brown meeting diamond-shaped black irises. They looked at each other for a long time, neither of them letting go of the other, instead they tightened their grips on each other. That is, until Urie sighed and rested his head to Shirazu's shoulder, the ginger's hand almost instantly raising and lying on top of Urie's head, his long fingers gently massaging the base of the back of his neck.

"Ginshi..." he breathed out gently, his grip on Shirazu's shirt tightening "Do you really see me as a bastard worse than a ghoul?"

Shirazu forze. So that was what was bothering Urie this whole time. It wasn't the fact that Shirazu became the squad leader, it wasn't the kick in the stomach he got from Ginshi, from which he was forced to puke for five minutes, nor was it anything else. He was troubled because he thought Shirazu's opinion on him has changed? Oh Kuki...

"Uriko..." Shirazu hummed before pulling Urie closer "I might've said that, but ya know I love ya more than anything, right?" he pulled away, cupping Urie's cheeks and making the other look at him, in the end being greeted with an unusually sad expression from Urie's face "Yer not a monster, Uriko. And yer not trash. Yer precious to me." he said and leaned in, placing a kiss to Urie's forehead. "Got it?"

Urie nodded and wrapped his arms around Shirazu's shoulders, melting into his embrace "Roger that." he whispered, nuzzling his face into the other's neck.

Even as Urie screamed, his kagune piercing through Donato's body, tears showering down his eyes like waterfalls, he couldn't forget him. Even as his whole body transformed, his skin peeling off his body, the monster inside of him taking over. Even as his whole body was swallowed up by an armored ghoul, he couldn't forget. Even as he yelled his father's name out, he wasn't thinking about him. He was thinking about himself. Oh papa, would you hate me if you saw what I have become? I have become the monster that ate you, papa! I have become the monster you and the rest of the CCG feared, papa! I'm not your little boy anymore, papa!! I'm a monster!!!

Yer not a monster, Uriko.

That's what he heard, that was the only thing echoing in his ears, the only thing he was able to grasp onto sanity with, the only thing keeping him human.

Yer my precious Uriko.

Was he dead? The blow to the dead was pretty bad. Donato almost killed him. Kitten, he called him. Tch, how disgusting.

Yer perfect, Uriko.

Urie's eyes widened as he felt his head being pulled into something soft, someone's chest. Once he looked up, his eyed widened. Shirazu...

I love ya, Uriko.

Everything went silent. As the blood trickled down his face, his wounds slowly, but not fully, healing, drops of blood falling from the tips of his fingers and colliding against the broken ground, as his masked demon slowly inches away from his face to uncover the ugliness beneath it, to uncover Urie's two kakugans, showing them to Shirazu with pride. 

Shirazu simply smiled at that, cupping Urie's cheeks "Yer beautiful, Urie. Yer not a monster, so what if ya can't eat a sandwich? Cannibalism ain't so bad." Urie shook his head, how could Shirazu say something like that? "Rest now, Uribo." he said and Urie closed his eyes. 

His body was aching, his muscles felt like they were on fire. It hurt so much, but he was so numb that he couldn't feel anything anymore. (I love you, Shirazu. Don't leave me here, dammit...)

Once he opened his eyed again, he was met with a smiling Saiko "Saiko loves you, Urie."  



End file.
